Powered By Bullshit

I am not a fan of marketing slogans, especially those generic, hollow statements that get picked up and used everywhere. The latest trend is “Powered by.” You’ve seen it I’m sure, “Website X is Powered by SomeTechnology.” I don’t give a shit how your website, or whatever, is “powered” I just want it to work — efficiently and correctly (or at least as advertised).

Not Quite As Productive As Planned
After my Saturday morning walkabout I convinced myself that the yard work and squirrel eradication was not going to take care of itself — not that they ever have. So I changed clothes and grabbed my Fisher-Price “My First Chainsaw” and headed outside. In the two hours that my chainsaw worked prior to slipping its chain I managed to cut down most of the surrounding squirrel highways and breakdown about half of the limbs.

Since I don’t use my chainsaw often I always have to relearn how to fix it. I don’t know if it was my thumb, or the fact that I was whooped after two hours of manual labor but I just couldn’t get it working again and gave up.

ITP Flickr Pic
After eating breakfast Saturday morning I took a stroll around East Atlanta Village.

Not Your Ordinary Santa

Christmas in my neighborhood is a little different than most.

Sucked In By The Beermuda Triangle
Yesterday was a great day for running, and apparently a better day for beer drinking.

After plodding through a 6.3-mile loop I had convinced myself that I should contain myself to two beers with breakfast. Oooh no, I wound up leaving sometime around 4pm after tossing down another few beers.

I will say that the Chinese food I picked up on my way home which was followed by a power nap were both enjoyable.

Sports Final
Even though I only to pick three of nine college games correctly, mostly because of point-spread, this weekend I managed to hold on to third place in my College Pick’em pool. For my season-long efforts I won $20, which since it cost $10 to enter means I really won $10. I’d calculate my hourly earnings but it suffices to say that it would be incredibly small.

Well, I’ve done it again. Yesterday I sat all of the players who would have guaranteed me a spot in my fantasy football league playoffs. It wasn’t that I was trying to lose, it just seems to be one of my inherent qualities. Have I mentioned that I am ultra-competitive and hate losing?

I Must Have Been In An Amazing Fog
I remember very little about last night’s Amazing Race.

I remember that Nathan and Jennifer were arguing (shocker!)
I remember that the Blondies got arrested by the Karma Police and finished last (yippee!) I stopped breathing until Phil made it certain by telling them they had been eliminated, as I feared that this would be a non-elimination segment.

What else happened, or was this episode that lackluster?

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood – okay
Current Music – Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Ween — “Your Party”
Website Of The Day – I am trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit. So today I’ll probably head to North Pole.
Exercise (b)Log – running, 6.3 miles
Monthly Foot Mileage – 6.3 miles
Monthly Wheel Mileage – 0 miles
Mode Of Transportation To WorkMarta
Monthly Marta Rides – 2

December Goals
1) Run no fewer than 50 miles
2) Ride Marta no fewer than twenty times (that’s ten round-trips)
3) Read at least one book

Cheers,
Paulie [eatl/ga]

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6 Responses to Powered By Bullshit

  1. Terri (SW) says:

    I attended a little dinner gathering where we attempting to indoctrinate some virgins into the world of The Amazing Race. It was a goodwill gesture, as soon enough there will be nothing left to watch except for reality shows and this, indeed, is the best (although this season of Survivor is rather exceptional!).

    I developed a drinking game for the remainder of the teams:
    First, you must determine what country the teams will be in for that episode.

    Then, you must take shots of that country’s prize liquor. For instance, last night they were in Lithuania, so you better have some samane handy!

    Next watch episode and take a shot:
    1. Kynt and Vyxsin- whenever they mention how shocked they are that no one seems shocked at their appearance (I would mention everytime they remind us how they are Goth, but that’s too easy)

    2. Nate and Jen- whenever they use a hyperbole (“This is the worst day EVER!!!”…”You’re the WORST person at this ALIVE!! EVER!!”…”I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!! EVER!!!”)

    3. Ronald and Christina- whenever someone mentions his hernia, two shots if he chooses a challenge he shouldn’t do with a hernia (like walk on stilts)

    4. Azaria and Hendekea- whenever someone watching the show comments on their relationship as if they are dating, for instance “He’s so mean to her! Why do they stay together?” (for those who don’t know…they’re brother and sister).

    5. TK and Rachel- whenever Rachel talks (I don’t think she’s said a word the entire season)

    6. Nicholas and Donald- whenever Donald reveals another odd job he’s had that makes him uniquely qualified to complete a challenge (he was a miner?!!?)

    We tested this game last night without the shots and realized we wouldn’t get through the first Road Block.

    Enjoy!

  2. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    Fantastic!

    You should also add in a sub-game for when Phil describes a feature of the game. The last person to put a finger on their nose has to drink.

  3. Terri (SW) says:

    Or whenever we see Phil’s package in his inappropriately tight trousers…

    Or whenever a player responds in Spanish to a person who does not speak English, even though the non-English-speaker doesn’t speak Spanish either (that’s a cluster eff of a sentence!)

    Or when they reveal the “Native Mat Greeter” who accompanies Phil-
    * One shot if it is a scantily-clad chick
    * Two shots if the greeter yells his/ her greeting at the players in a way that makes them jump
    * One shot if the greeter has a luxurious beard
    * Two shots if they are in battle-gear
    * One shot if Phil and the greeter nod and smile in a way to indicate a deeper-understanding when the player reaches the mat

    BTW- I am home sick from work…do not think I am working on drinking games while at school 😉

  4. Barb says:

    Oh my god, Terri, this is a great idea. I’m sitting here giggling at my desk, and the people around me wouldn’t understad if I tried to explain.

    And- how could dancer chick Jen not be able to walk on stilts? I can’t wait until next week, will they break up on camera? I loved when Nate called her a b*tch…..

  5. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    I believe that Jennifer, much like the Blondies, has spent more time shimmying on poles than using them as stilts.

    Unfortunately I think that their “breakup” is going to be Amazing Race editor trickery. I have no doubt that they really argued, but I think that they will (temporarily) make up. My long-term prediction is that by the time they are eliminated they will break up, a la the artificial-legged-girl couple from last season.

  6. Barb says:

    oh – if Allan & I ever filled out the ppwk & got on this show, I’m sure the world would think that we hated each other by the end. There would be some awesome bickering that the editors would love.

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